


Roll like Waves//

by jayyxx



Category: Supernatural
Genre: ??? - Freeform, Anxiety Attacks, Birthdays, Drinking, Fluff and Angst, Hand Jobs, M/M, Oral Sex, Post-Mark of Cain, Vacations, if that is triggering be weary that there is lots of comfort with it:)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-11
Updated: 2015-07-11
Packaged: 2018-04-08 20:26:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4318863
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jayyxx/pseuds/jayyxx
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the Mark is cured, the Winchesters & friends go on a little vacation<br/>This work is finished.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Roll like Waves//

**Author's Note:**

> find me @ghostycas on tumblr

I don’t do planes.” He says to Charlie, who only laughs in his face.  
“Oh, it’s okay, I’ll hold your hand.” She smiled fondly and Dean pushed her shoulder, clutching his bag as they got closer to the desk. The woman had her hair in a straight ponytail, and he was surprised she wasn't toppling over with the amount of makeup painting her face. She swiped the family in front of them, and he watched them disappear into the tunnel.  
“Next.” She called and Sam—looking like an excited puppy— gave her his fake passport and fake boarding pass. She swiped them without really looking.  
“Alright, Sam Winchester. Next.” Sam stood off to the side of the woman as Castiel swiped his card.  
“Castiel Winchester.” She muttered, chewing her lips. Hearing those two words together always made Dean’s stomach churn.  
“Dean Winchester. Jesus, what… Are you all married to each other?”  
“Brothers.” Dean huffed out and Charlie slapped his back.  
“Celeste Middleton.” She puffed and the group turned to Charlie. Dean raised an eyebrow.  
“I’ve had this passport a long time.” She gave, and it was good enough for the rest of them. 

The plane wasn’t too full. He guessed people would rather stay in Lawrence while its hot, rather then go up to Maui in the middle of May.  
It was Sam’s idea. He wanted to go on a family vacation for his birthday. “No hunting, no cases, just fun.” He said and Dean wanted to throw up. Because they don’t do that, they don’t go on vacations and have fun. They don’t hold hands and run into the ocean. They don’t go to luau’s and laugh and play and…  
“Dean!” Charlie snapped it out of him. Waving a hand over his face.  
“Window or aisle?”  
“Window.” He coughed. She asked if he was sure, saying something about how it will make him sick but he was sure. He moved into the tiny seat and hoped his ass would fit between the bars. Charlie sat easily beside him, Sam and Cas moving to the aisle in from of them. Sam sitting to leave a seat between him and Cas, who was staring out into the hot night.  
Cas said flying straight threw the night is the best. If Sam said it was fine, then they did it. Sam had planned this whole thing. He rented a beach house, and put the tab on a fake credit card. Saying something about how they deserved it, and something along the lines of “fuck the law.” Sam wanted to go fishing, and swimming, and hiking and surfing. The thought of his 6 foot something brother on a little board trying to ride a wave made Dean want to cry in laughter.  
Dean’s white knuckling his knees, having a staring contest with the window. The plane does a little dip before it takes off and Dean almost shits his pants. He knows he’s gonna loose his mind at exactly 40 minutes up, because of that case a few years back with the demon on the plane and…  
Woah woah woah. Everything is fine. No demons. Not after they nailed the gates of hell closed and held middle fingers to the gates of heaven. Nothing was wrong, everything is good. Hell, he’s with his closest family, making his little brothers dreams come true, on an eight hour plane ride all the way from Kansas to Maui, Hawaii.  
When he could see nothing but soft clouds and the bright moon, Dean settled with headphones blaring music in his ears and a pen. A pen that he used to draw little circles over his skin, and a napkin, and a page in one of the books Sam is making him bring. Charlie is laughing her ass off watching ‘Modern Family.’ Sam must have brochures coming out his ass as he’s got three spread out on the tiny tray table, on his lap and over Cas’ legs, that are spread out over the seat with his feet on Sam’s thighs while he reads whichever Harry Potter book he's on now.  
They are half way through. It’s gonna be okay.  
Charlie and Sam have been out for a while now. Charlie’s head lulling against the seat, Sam’s floppy hair falling over his eyes. Damn, it’s long enough to be tied in a pony tail, thats just sick.  
Dean closed his table tray. Standing up, and leaning on the seat in front of him. He ran a hand, ruffling Castiel’s hair. Cas looked up, tired and adorable eyes landing on his. Cas was curled up in his seat, and was originally looking out the window, but is now looking at Dean with the same fascination.  
“What do you see out there?” He asked and watched him look back out the small window.  
“Night.”  
“Hmm. Exciting.” He teased.  
“It is.” Castiel reassured. “How’s your anxiety?”  
“Cas, don’t call it that.”  
“That’s what it is.” Cas said with a knowing tilt of his head. He knew he had anxiety, but Sam didn’t need to know. Sam would hype him up on meds and shit, and its something so easy to just wait out.  
Cas had been there once. Cas held his hand, like he was a baby, telling him everything was okay. Dean didn’t want him to see him like this, so weak and fragile it was almost pitiful. But ever since, Cas has been there. Ever since Dean told him his very presence soothed him.  
Dean hadn’t realized he was basically petting Castiel, hand carding through his hair.  
“i’m good.” He admitted, not telling a lie.  
“Good.” Cas smiled.  
Dean fit himself back in the seat, Cas turned back to the window. 

Another hour passed and this was getting painful. He had to pee like a racehorse and Charlie was still an never-waking rock pressed against his shoulder. Cas was now snoring, leaning on the wall of the plane and Sam was awake and reading.  
“Sam.” He hushed. He didn’t move.  
“Sam!” He said as loud as he could, still being a whisper. Sam spun around. Dean gestured to a very sleepy Charlie.  
“Can we switch?” Groaning, Sam stood and threw his backpack in the open seat beside Charlie. Dean passed him his own bag and slid out of Charlie’s hold. As gracefully as possible --without waking anyone-- Dean hopped her legs and got out of the seat, and now his bladder was screaming at him. Sam sat in the aisle seat with Charlie, pulling her and letting her lean against him like she was with Dean.  
In the tiny bathroom, Dean could touch both walls, which freaked him out. He was quick to do his business, wash his hands and face and get the hell out of there.  
Moving into the middle seat, now squished between a sleepy ex-angel and a pile of broachers and to-do papers.  
He watched a whole movie before Cas woke up.  
“Why didn’t you sleep?” He asked accusingly.  
“I don’t like sleeping.” Dean answered honestly and turned up his movie. Only two more hours and he would be off this metal bird from hell. 

Landing was easy, almost fun, the way it made his stomach drop like he was on a roller coaster. Him and Cas stared out the window, watching as they got closer and closer, the wings of the plane skimming palm trees.  
Charlie claimed plane sickness, hooking arms with Sam, who told her that today would be easy and slow, which helped Dean too.  
They got their suit cases, and Dean was happy non of them were stolen. He pulled the black bag on its wheels. It was full of Dean’s shit, and Dean’s shit that Cas used. Sam had a duffle bag, full of swim trunks and running shorts, and Charlie had a little pull bag with colourful stickers covering the nice beige paint. 

The house was amazing. Something right out of a magazine. Beautiful view of the water, just the thought of walking down a set of stairs and being able to touch that water gave Dean butterflies. It was so worth the flight.  
It was furnished with white couches, which made Sam nervous, the Winchesters weren’t very clean… But there was a dark wood table and a painting of a zebra, huge sliding glass doors that open up to a patio. Yep. 2 weeks here wasn’t gonna be a problem.  
Upstairs, there were three bedrooms, two kings and one room had two double beds pressed against the wide window.  
“Sam should get the big room, cause its his birthday.” Charlie states over lunch and the table agrees.  
“And you should get the other one because we aren’t gonna make you room with one of us gross boys.” Dean jokes and she seems grateful.  
“Or… Cas could get the open room, and we—Dean— could room. Not like we’ve never done it before.” Sam adds.  
“Yeah, but no offence, but we have roomed together waaay to much, we should get a break.”  
“So would you rather room with me or Charlie?” Castiel asked, the first words he’s said all meal. He was too excited to dig his teeth into a hawaiian bacon cheeseburger to add to the discussion.  
“Uh..” Was all Dean could push out, “…You.”  
“Right. It’s settled.” Cas said, without giving anyone any time to argue. “You two get the kings and me and Dean will share the doubles.” He continues, sipping at his drink, only missing the straw and having it poke his cheek once. The table nodded and started listening to Sam ramble about activities. 

They decided to stay in, maybe go out for dinner, or a walk along the water, and Dean is forever grateful. He hasn’t slept in 24 hours and he’s going for 32.  
Dean and Cas unpack into their dressers. The double room is pretty cute. (when did he become such a girl as to call a room cute?!) The way its completely symmetrical. It’s even got two sinks. The beds are soft and the duvet’s are softer. It’s got a TV that plays cartoons and ‘what to do in Hawaii’ channels. There’s a huge window that over looks mountains, and Dean almost feels sane. 

 

There are stairs that lead them from their beach house to the water. It’s only a few hundred steps, and Charlie bids they’ll all have amazing asses by the time these weeks are done from climbing all the steps. Sam leads them down to the water, still dressed in they clothes they wore to dinner. The sun sets very fast in Hawaii, so they had to be quick. Charlie laughing and tripping, tipsy from her drinks at dinner as she made her way down the stairs, Dean following her and Cas not far behind.  
“Guys. First step on a beach, on my first family vacation.” Sam states and Charlie finds it appropriate to hop up and kiss his cheek before he takes one small step for man, one giant leal for Winchester kind. Feeling the soft sand make way for him like he’s some god. It feels different now—instead of running quickly though the white sand in California with a werewolf nipping his heels, he’s here for pleasure. Fun. With his best friend, his brother and his sister he never wanted, he almost feels guilty. They don’t deserve this. No, wait. Sam deserves this. He deserves to be put on the map and enjoy his life for once. Charlie, with everything with her mother and her fake life, she deserves to not worry about anything. And Cas. Well Castiel deserves the world, and if Dean could cure all pain, all sadness in one single person, he would choose him. Castiel deserves running through sand and dancing in stars and to be splashed with water playfully and… He deserves this.  
But Dean had done nothing but bad his whole life. He doesn’t deserve anything at all, except a jail cell with his name on it. He doesn't deserve watching his little brother run into waves in his nice dress pants, pulling at Charlie’s hand tugging her along. He doesn’t deserve Castiel, a pleasant weight at his side as he nudges his shoulder.  
But Cas deserves this.  
So he reaches down and locks their hands together as he runs. Pulling Cas like he’s a kite and running until he’s standing next to Sam and Charlie, knee deep in salt water. Castiel smiling like home and happiness, Sam laughing and heaving for breath, Charlie patting their backs and twirling in the water. They looked so odd standing in the water in their nice clothes, with no one else on the beach but a couple of teenagers at the bon fire.  
Sam makes a cup with his hands, bringing up a pool of water in his palms.  
“To a good vacation.” He said, smiling as the rest of the group cupped their hands and caught some water.  
“To a good vacation!” They singsonged, and Sam brought his hand up, and splashed Dean right in the face.  
thats one way to start a vacation, digging your brothers face in the sand. 

 

Dean didn’t want to think of the thought that sleeping with Castiel in the room made him sleep better. Maybe it’s just cause he’s not alone, and it takes the edge off? Or maybe because it’s cause Castiel was once an Angel of the Lord, and maybe he hasn’t gotten used to the new Castiel. The one who streamed his grace and life-line into Dean to remove the Mark of Cain from his body. He did it only a moment after Dean had swung a blade at his head, and then all he knew was he was on the ground, Cas had a hole in his neck, everything went blue, and he woke up clear headed and all he wanted was to see Cas. He had hugged the shit out of him. Not letting go for a solid two minutes. Telling him so sorry and need you and family and thank you. Thinking about that night, the way Castiel held tight like he was drowning, makes Dean’s stomach hurt.  
He decided watching Castiel sleep, as Cas once did to him, was better then thinking of the past. They were here now. Safe and happy. Actually smiling like real people do.  
Castiel was in pyjama pants, and a black teeshirt. He had one leg sticking out the comforter, one arm cradling his head and a pillow. Laying on his stomach, Dean could see his body rise and lower with each intake. Dean let the soft push of breath coming from the bed beside him lull him to sleep. 

He is woken to the found of a scream.  
Okay, maybe it was more of a yelp then a scream, because it was short lived and quiet.  
That didn’t stop him from jumping up and out of his bed at eight-thirty in the morning. Running to the bathroom where he found Castiel. Towel around his waist, water dripping off his bare chest. He seemed perfectly fine.  
“Are you okay?” Dean asked without really thinking, he was busy raking his eyes over the body in front of him, shining in the florescent light and dripping water across his perfectly sculpted chest. Cas adjusts his towel, allowing Dean to see a sliver of his leg as he fixed it and came up with an answer.  
“Yes, I…uh… I almost slipped.” He replied, almost looking embarrassed that he yelped at simply slipping in a pile of water he brought with him from his shower. Strange how Dean was once hopping out of bed, guns ablaze, and finding a demon in their kitchen, to almost having a panic attack when Castiel slips on water.  
He nodded and pulled his eyes off him, walking back and slumped into the comforter. Cas pawed through the closet looking for clothes, and decides to strip right there, only partly hidden by the closet door. Dean only notices when he’s pulling the black boxers over the crook of his ass. His eyes widen and he shakes his head to look away.  
“Dude! If we’re gonna share rooms you gotta’ have more modesty.” Dean states harshly. His mouth already dry from the bathroom interaction.  
Cas pulls the bitchiest bitch-face Dean has ever seen. Hand on his hip, head tilting like a bird.  
“I was changing.”  
“Yes! I saw!” Dean remarks, holding his hands up in defence. Cas rolls his eyes and returns to his clothes. He pulls a faded green teeshirt out of the closet and throws it over his messy mop of wet hair and yanks some sweat pants on. Pulling the drawstrings as tight as they can go. He turns to the door and marches outside like nothing happened and heads to the kitchen.

Sam made eggs and bacon like the true house wife he was. He fed Dean and almost forced him to eat the mango slices on the side of his plate, that had been already made for him.  
“Sammy you look like every white mom’s brightest fantasy.” Dean states around a scoop of eggs, and Sam chuckles. He was shirtless in a kitchen, flipping some eggs, so he flipped Dean the bird as well.  
Charlie trucked in around ten. Yelling about a head ache and still being tired. She slumped into a chair beside Dean and groaned, leaning her head on Dean’s shoulder.  
“The plan is we spend the day at the beach, you okay with that Charles?” Sam asked as he scooped some eggs onto her plate. She nodded.  
He pours the rest of the eggs on Cas’ plate, who picks at them and puts his fork down.  
“Hey.” Dean starts, the sound of the oven fan drowning out his voice, pushing the plate back to him. “Eat something.” Cas looks at him like he just asked him to kill a puppy. He picks up the fork and picks the eggs like they’re gonna bite him.  
“Cas.”  
“I’m not hungry.” He says like he’s told Dean a hundred times already.  
“I don’t care.” He says, staring him down until he finally takes a scoop of eggs. They wait their until he eats them all. 

 

Damn it was hot. The sun was beating rays on his shoulders and he lugged towels and coolers down the steps. The beach was open to the public, so it was relatively busy. There were many other beach houses, and a few hotel’s also just up the cliff, all having steps leading down the mountain. There were even people surfing farther down the beach.  
It was hot, sweat beading on his forehead. The white sand was hot like black rocks and he suddenly needed to run until his feet sizzled in the water.  
Even the water was hot, but it was refreshing enough. Charlie and Cas were busy setting up towel’s under a palm tree while Dean and Sam striped their shirts and ran into the water.  
“How deep is it gonna get?” Sam gulped, walking and walking until they were knee deep. The waves were a lot bigger and way more rough on the other side of the beach, but right here, it was pretty calm. Which was good, Dean didn’t want to be saving someone from drowning. They dove under some waves, laughed, splashed, and came back to shore.  
“Well aren’t you two a couple of teenagers.” Charlie remarked with a smirk.  
“Hey, c’mon, we never got to be teenagers.” Dean told, wiping the water off his chest with his hand. When he looked up, someone was staring.  
“Hey, yoo-hoo!” He called, waving a hand over Castiel’s glazed face. His eyes shot up from where they were sitting on Dean’s chest. He muttered an apology and turned to his book. Dean leaning down and grabbed the towel that Cas had over his criss-crossed legs, drying himself off.  
“Don’t give me that look.” Dean tested. Castiel smirked, putting his hands up in defence.  
“You guys are too cute.” Charlie teased, which earned her a glare from Dean. He waved a hand and made Cas move over on his towel. They sat cross-legged. Sipped at some beers and watched the waves. Dean nudged Cas’ knee with his his own to get his attention. When he spun his head around, owl-like, Dean made quick work of throwing the towel, and having it land of Cas’ head. He pulled it off, dismantling his hair for Charlie’s amusement, and fell back onto his chest. Like a rock, Dean didn’t even flinch.  
“You won’t break me, Cassie.” He muttered, leaning back on his hand to let him get comfortable. This behaviour with Cas wasn’t unusual. Sometimes, in hotel rooms with Sam is in the shower, Cas leans against Dean,head lulling on his shoulder. Dean basically slept on Cas’ lap in Purgatory. It just wasn’t usual when Sam and others were around.  
Cas relaxed against his chest, sipping from his beer and gawking at the awful taste. 

The next day felt like he was repeating yesterday. 

The third day felt like he was on a loop. 

The fourth day he put a stop to it.  
They decided to come out to the beach after dinner, there was not nearly as many people at that time.  
“Come on, get up.” He demanded, hands on his hips.  
“What?” Castiel asked, looking at Dean like he just asked him to do a backflip.  
“You heard me, we’re going in the water.” Dean stated. Castiel hadn’t gone anywhere near the water after the first night in their dress clothes. He seemed content to stay and read whatever book he was on now.  
“I…I’m good here.” He stammered, pulling at the corner of the page in his book.  
“Oh…You’re so lame! Come on!” Cas looked nervous and Dean started to think he was scaring him. So Dean held a hand out. Cas blushed as he placed his fingers into Dean’s. Dean pulled him up and helped him steady himself before dropping his hand. Then he waited for Castiel to strip himself of his shirt.  
Now this was a sight.  
Castiel still had the line over his shoulder from the swing of Dean’s blade. It made his stomach drop. He had a scar on his neck from where the last of his grace dripped through. Dean remembers him focusing completely on fixing the Mark, instead of fixing his bleeding shoulder. He was in the hospital over night and Dean never left his side. Even when Sam tried to pull him away, he just put his head on the edge of Cas’ cot and slept, knowing his best friend was gonna be okay.  
But now Castiel was glowing in the light of the sun. Sunscreen making his body glimmer in the reflection of hot sun. He threw the shirt beside his book and turned to follow Dean to the water.  
He put his feet in, warm waves washing up his ankles.  
“Come on, a little deeper.” Dean suggested with a fond smile. Cas took a deep breath, walking out to Dean.  
“Dean, Dean.” He called, and Dean stopped from were he was trudging through the water, turning to face the other man. Cas’ face was lit with the pink light of the sunset, and damn, he was beautiful.  
He stuttered as he spoke. “I can’t swim.” He admitted, looking down as another wave passed them.  
oh.  
They were waist deep in water now, Dean had just thought Castiel knew everything, being an angel and all. But little moment’s like this, were Castiel is so small and scared reminds Dean that he is not that anymore.  
So Dean took a step towards him. “We gotta get past the waves.” He pulled on Cas’ elbow. Cas went willingly. Trudging through water, not liking how deep it was getting.  
As the water was nearing their shoulders, the break far gone and the shore even farther, Cas stops.  
“Dean stop.”  
“What?”  
“I can’t swim.” He repeats, more punctuation in the sentence. Dean stepped forward, grabbing both of his hands in the most girly way possible. Bringing them out of the water and lacing his fingers with Cas’.  
“and I won’t let you go under.” He said fondly, making sure Castiel knew this was true, he wasn’t falling again.  
“Plus, we’re already past the break, so this is where we get to swim.”  
“I can’t swim!” He almost shouts, a laugh behind the words, trying to break them into Dean’s skull.  
“So walk!” Dean answered teasingly. Cas huffs as Dean lets go and goes to dive. Cas shouts his name as he dives under.  
“Don’t do that! I’ll fall if you let go!”  
“You’re crazy, watch.” He does it again, leaning back and splashing water at Cas.  
“Please.” He begs as Dean comes up again. Cas grabs at his side. Not his shoulder. Not his arm. His side, just above his hip and right on his rib.  
“Okay, okay, just…” He pushes at his shoulder. Trying to push him back. Cas rocks back and then launches forward, locking his arms around Dean’s arm.  
“Can we go back now? Please?” He begged, not removing himself off Dean.  
“You’re a baby.” He said teasingly. He pushing Cas off and grabbed both his hands. It is incredibly intimate. It almost makes Dean blush. He walks backwards, leading a very scared Castiel back to the shore.  
“How was that?” Charlie asked, pushing her sunglasses to the top of her head. Cas nodded, happy to take his seat beside her again. 

The bed was too hot. It was too hot. His body was on fire, his brain was boiling. His fingers tingled and this couldn't be healthy. How many more layers could he shed? He was in his boxers and teeshirt. His socks and pants throw to the other side of the room.  
His arm was burning.  
The same spot.  
The Mark was gone, and he knew that. It had been blessed and cleared with the purest of medication, an angel’s grace. It was gone, and it wasn’t gonna do anything ever again.  
He looked to Castiel, asleep soundly with his face in the pillow.  
How could he had done that to him? The only man, other then his own brother, that he cares about. His best friend in the broadest of worlds and he let Cas die for him. Cas is dead now, he has to breathe and sleep and eat. He’s afraid of the water and afraid of falling off the couch. He doesn’t know how to tie laces or make his backpack straps longer. He’s so unmistakably human its making Dean sick. He is laying there, asleep. Stirring lightly, like he know’s Dean is watching him.  
Dean stands, running to the bathroom and washing cold cold water over his arm, trying to take the edge off. For a second, the water runs hot and he thinks he’s in hell. Trapped here, with a burn under his skin and a sink of boiling water. He doesn’t even notice when the water turns cold, because he is turning off the tap and falling against the wall in a heap.  
“Dean?” Castiel calls, sitting up in his bed.  
Stop caring, stop helping me. He begs but doesn’t know if it’s out loud or not. He’s gotta get out, far away, Kansas, preferably. The room is small and the walls are too close and oh god where is Sam oh god oh god I’m dying.  
Cas is in the hall now, watching him with worry etched into his features.  
Dean shoots up like the floor has burned him. He runs past Castiel and out the door. He runs down to where Sam’s room is. Castiel grabs his arm, right over the Mark, pulling him.  
“Wait, Dean, you don’t have to wake Sam, I’ll help you.”  
“Why do you keep doing that!” He says as loud as he can, but it comes out as a whisper. Then he’s racing past Cas, down the steps and is fumbling with the screen door.  
“Dean!” Castiel shouts as Dean stumps outside, and starts for the stairs.  
He tells himself not to trip as he hops two steps at a time. Finally, he’s on the sand, stomping for the water he knows is cold and clear. He yells for them to stop following me! even though there’s no one there.  
Castiel is quick on the steps. Leaving room between him and Dean so he can breathe. He knows what he’s doing. The way Dean runs his nails over his forearm, his hands pleading his hair and begging for someone to help. But any time someone gets close he yells, but he can’t yell. It’s just a whisper.  
He hits the sand and bolts; as fast as his legs will take him.  
He’s knee deep in water, forgetting everything about how deep it gets and all the fish and sharks and…  
No, only Dean.  
“Dean!” Dean spins, stopping moving in total. The cold water is at the middle of his thigh, his fingernails raking where the Mark once was.  
Cas approaches him calmly, holding out a hand in surrender.  
“No!” Dean calls.  
“Dean, it’s okay.” Cas says, pushing through the water. Dean puts his hands over his ears.  
“Dean. It’s okay, come here, it’s okay.” Cas coos and Dean takes a deep breath in. A wave rolls past, pushing their bodies closer to shore. Castiel adjusts his feet from sinking into the sand. He takes hold of Dean’s hands, pulling them from his head and he holds them.  
“You’re fine.”  
“I almost killed you.”  
“But you didn’t. I’m right here.”  
“I took your grace, then I almost killed you and you’re still so nice to me.” Dean states, watching Cas’s thumb move over his wrists.  
“I forgave you, we moved on.”  
“Your shoulder. That was me.”  
“No it wasn’t. That was not you. I’m not blaming you. For anything.” Castiel scoops his hand up and holds Dean’s cheek.  
“It wasn’t you.” Dean let out a sob and Castiel pulled him against his chest. His legs shook from the cold water and even more so with the added weight. Dean put his hands over his face and dug himself into Cas’ embrace. Castiel’s hands held and moved down his back.  
“I’m so sorry, so, so, so sorry.”  
“I know, I know Dean it’s okay.” Dean cried against his neck. Dean started mumbling something.  
“I need you. I need you.”  
“I need you too, Dean.”  
“I’ll never hurt you. Ever again, I’m so sorry. I need you so much please don’t leave me.” Dean begged, the words drawing another cry from him.  
“I’ll never leave, okay? Can we get out of the water now?” Dean nodded and Castiel helped him out of the water and up the stairs.

Back in the house, Dean stands with his forehead in Castiel’s back while Cas draws him a glass of water and some sleeping pills. Pressing the glass to Dean’s lips, helping him hold his hand up to pour the pills into his mouth, Dean laces their fingers together.  
“Thanks.” He mutters once the water is down the hatch.  
“You’re very welcome.” Cas mutters. Dean squeezes his fingers before he turns and climbs the steps to their room, his legs burning from climbing the beach stairs. He groans with each step, and Castiel stays behind, washing his face with water, hoping to never remember this. ever again. 

 

Sadly, in the morning, he remembers. He remembers drying off and crawling into bed, Dean getting knocked out by sleeping meds. But he’s not here now.  
In the kitchen, Charlie is cooking, chopping onions and grating cheese while Dean scrambles eggs for an omelette. Sam relaxes and points out some things on one of his many brochures.  
“I want to go surfing today, we can do it down the shore line a bit.” Sam rambles. Almost drowning out “come and get your love” playing on the speaker. Dean sings along.  
“Dean! Are you listening?” Sam barks, watching his brother swivel around to eye him.  
“What? Yeah? I’m good.”  
“You sure? You seem a little out of it.”  
“I’m good.” He insisted, not meeting Sam’s eyes. The whole kitchen raised their eyebrows. Castiel in a more ‘sorry’ way and Charlie in an ‘explain yourself’ way and Sam in a ‘liar liar!’ way.  
“Long night; get off my ass.” Dean states, mixing onions, cheese and eggs in a bowl.

Turns out Sam can surf.  
He turns and rips through waves like no ones business and looks like a pro. The waves are too rough even for Dean, so Castiel and Charlie stay stood beside him calmly.  
“Excuse me?” A woman called from over Charlie’s shoulder. “Hi, sorry. I’ve gotta get out there, can you get my back?” She asked, holding out a bottle of sunscreen and balancing her surf board in her arm. Dean gives her a thumbs up and she blushes. She moved the girl’s blonde hair and started to pour white sunscreen on her back.  
“Why is she so excited to put sunscreen on a stranger?” Castiel asked, leaning into Dean so he question wasn’t heard by anyone else.  
“Because that stranger is hot.” Dean answered honestly.  
“But isn’t that just a basic thing for girls to do, you know, help each other out?”  
Dean rolled his eyes, it was like Castiel lived in a chick flick. “Charlie is gay.” Cas looked confused, like Dean just told him Charlie turned green at nine o’clock on Sundays. “She’s… sexually attracted to other women.” Dean stated, shuffling the sand off his feet.  
“Oh. So does that make you gay as well?”  
“What?!” Dean gulped.  
“Because you are also sexually attracted to women?”  
“No, no Cas, I’m…” That was complicated and complex. Dean was, well. He was everything, he liked anything that moved. If it had a pretty face, Dean liked it.  
“I don’t know what I am.”  
“What does that mean?” Castiel asked as Charlie and the other girl started chatting about surfing.  
Dean turned Castiel around with his hands on his shoulder. “You can’t tell anyone this.” Cas nodded. Turning and focusing on Dean only.  
“I like both.”  
“Both?”  
“Men and women.”  
“Oh, so…”  
“Bisexual. I’ve known all my life but Sam doesn’t need to know. Sam—actually— is left in the dust about a lot of things in my life and I intend on keeping it that way.”  
“Sam won’t judge you.”  
“He might not, but…”  
“Does Charlie know?” Cas questioned, looking over Dean’s shoulder at her, who is now exchanging numbers with the blonde girl. Dean nodded. “She was the first one I came out to.” Castiel hummed in understanding.  
“I think… I am the same.” Castiel stated gruffly.  
“What?”  
“As an angel I didn’t have a gender, nor a sexuality, so I just…” He shook his hands. “Liked whatever I wanted to.” he stated dryly. Dean hummed but hushed up as soon as Charlie came back, a piece of paper with numbs on it and a lipstick stain on her cheek. “I love Hawaii.” She said lovestruck. 

=

Okay, so he might have gone a little crazy.  
Him and Charlie got up at five, decorated the house in balloons and presents on the table. A cake in the fridge, though he knew Sam wouldn’t eat it. They made him pancakes and squeezed orange juice, and played Sam’s few favourite songs.  
“C’mon, get up, you gotta be up before Sammy.” He stated, shaking Cas awake at six-thirty. Cas groaned, swatting at Dean’s hands, rolling onto his stomach and burying his face into the pillow.  
“I’ll drag you.”  
“Fight me.” Cas barks.  
“Come on! It’s Sam’s birthday!” Cas didn’t move. Dean shook at his shoulders again until he was facing him. Dean pulls back the blankets and moves his arms under Cas’ neck and the crook of his knees.  
“I will carry you downstairs.”  
“Do it.” On the word, Dean lifted Castiel up bridal style. He squealed and pushed at his chest.  
“Lemme go! Lemme go!” He shouted, Dean dropped him and told him to be quiet because, damn, he was gonna wake the birthday boy. Cas stood up, fixing his teeshirt. They stood as close as they could have been without holding each other. Dean’s breath moved Cas’ hair. Castiel’s hands hit Dean’s chest and he pushed him backwards onto the other bed. He then searched for some pants to cover his legs and headed out and down the stairs. 

If Sam didn’t get up soon, all the chips would be gone. They sat for what felt like hours. Charlie braided lines in the hair near Cas’ ear. He now looked like a viking, sporting three little braids tied with red bands. Dean commented about it being too long, and needed a cut. Dean sat on the table top, snacking on chips and fruit for the pancakes. Charlie and Cas sat on the bar stools, both petting at Cas’ hair.  
“It’s a great length, long enough to play with but short enough its not over your eyes.” Charlie states, carding her hair through Cas’ hair. Cas —mewling at the touch— couldn’t disagree.  
“I think if you cut it enough that it doesn’t go curly it would be fine.” Dean finishes but the house falls quiet as they hear the bathroom door slam. Charlie eye’s Dean confusingly, Cas holds his index finger to his lips for minutes; Until the unmistakable sound of foot steps rock the house. They crawl under the table and behind the counter until…  
They all jump up when Sam rounds the corner. Sam acts like he didn’t see them and holds a hand to his chest, gasping.  
“Woah you guys! This is awesome!” He says, motioning to the balloons taped to the backs of the chairs, the half empty chip bowl and the singular pancake with a candle in it. He hugs them all, kissing into Charlie’s hair and smiling brightly.  
They ate pancakes, and decided on spending the day at the beach. 

“Dear Mr. Castiel Winchester, your reservation for four at the Sunlit Hawaii restaurant on fourth ave. has been moved to eight-thirty upon your request, have a wonderful evening, Sunlit Hawaii.” Dean read off in monotone. “I didn’t even know he made a reservation.”  
“Maybe he didn’t want you to worry about it.” Charlie says dryly Dean throws the paper on the desk and turns back to Charlie, who is straightening her hair through the open bathroom door. He holds up a dark blue button down to his bare chest.  
“Hmm.” She hums, putting the straightener on the marble counter. “I don’t know. I still like the white.”  
“Then I’m gonna match Cas.” He informed, moving into the bathroom and holding up the two shirts like the true teenaged girl he was.  
“Why don’t you were the blue one and a black tie?”  
“What about white tie and blue shirt?”  
“What about a rainbow bow tie!” She requested. laughing at her own jokes as she brought the straightener down her red hair.  
“Do you think if i laid down and you ran that thing all over me I would be completely straight again.” Dean sighed, pushing the blue button down over his shoulders and buttoning the top few.  
“Oh sweetheart, I’ve tried.” She smirked, setting down the straightener and pulling the next layer of hair free. She combed it out while Dean fidgeted with his buttons. It seemed to be a bit tight on him…“but maybe it would get rid of your massive man crush on Cas.”  
Dean’s mouth went dry, fingers pausing on the button near his navel, he was now sure his hands were shaking. He opened and closed his mouth a few times, tasting each word before shoving them back down. Was he that obvious? Charlie knew him better then anyone, and on some days, Dean thinks she knows him better then Sam did. If she knew, did Sam know? Is that why he was so willing to give up his seat on the plane? So persistent that Dean and Cas shared a room? Why he never made fun of the way Dean let Cas lay on him on the beach?  
Wait a second, Dean most certainly did not have a crush on Cas. The butterflies in his stomach are simply coincidental. The way he curled in Castiel’s embrace the night he had a panic attack? It was just because he offered, see, Sam would never offer that, let Dean cry on his shoulder, but Castiel did. The reason he is so protective over him is just because he, Cas, used to be that protective over him! Not because he loved him or anything! Not because he loved the way Cas’ eyes lit up when they were beside each other. Or the way Castiel’s hands felt in his own when he was laughing and leading him back to shore. The only reason he came out to Castiel that day when Sam was surfing was because it was a roadblock that needed to be crossed, not because he had some crazy fantasy that Cas felt the same way and would just get down on one knee and yell “lets be gay together!”  
Now thats just crazy.  
Well, not like he wouldn’t scoop Cas up, kiss him with all the gusto he’s got if he and the chance. And he does sometimes wonder if he’s staring for too long. Or what Castiel would taste like on his tongue. If he just sprung foreword and ran his tongue over his neck just to get the taste in his lips, or…  
“Dean I swear to god. The day dreaming man! It’s like you go dead to the world or something.” Charlie continues to rant as she pulls a brush through her straight hair.  
“I…I do not have a crush on Castiel!” His full name slipping through and sounding weird on his lips. He gripped the counter top and breathed in through his nose. She placed her hands on her hips.  
“You may be fooling your brother, and yourself, but you can not lie to the red queen!” She sassed, pushing past him, pulling awkwardly at her dress. She headed straight to the door.  
“No, Charlie! We are not done here! Charlie!” He raced after her, only to come out of the room and be faced with the problem himself.  
“Hey! Cas! How are you?! You need help with your shirt? Great! Dean will help you!” She stammered, slapping Dean on the ass before she disappeared into her room again.  
After a moment of awkward staring. “Am I wearing your shirt?” Castiel asked uncomfortably. Pawing at the fabric that looks way to big on him. Dean remembers the seems on the shirt on his body ripping as he pulled it over his shoulders. He quickly stripped off the shirt and watched as Cas did the same.  
“God you two.” Sam suddenly appeared from no where like the little freak he is. “Not that kind of party.” He smirked, shifting slightly on his heels. Castiel takes his cue and disappears into the room.  
“I think that’s his human equivalent of flying away.” Dean remarks sassily, giving his brother a bitch face before he slips his other arm into the sleeve. Sam smiles, squeezing his shoulder before heading down the stairs. 

=

Dean won’t admit he got drunk off wine like a middle aged women.  
But Sam will.  
“I am so drunk, oh my God!” He yelled as he hooks arms with Charlie and stumbles out of the taxi. Dean throws a 50 in the window and holds onto Cas’ elbow as they walk up the steps.  
Charlie lets out a loud laugh and scares herself, putting hands over her mouth and telling them to SHH! Sam pushes through the front door like a he used to break down doors during hunts and it makes Dean’s stomach turn. He turns into Castiel, linking an arm around his waist. Cas pats his hand where it rests on his hip and helps carry him inside.  
“Cas…” He whispers hotly, way too close to his ear. “Can we go to the beach?” “No, Dean….” “No! C’mon! he slurs, pulling Cas to the big sliding doors. Cas goes willingly, laughing at Dean’s footwork.  
The moon rests over their heads as they ignore Sam’s calls to bring them back inside and stumble down the stairs.  
Sand soft on their toes, hands linked together, sound of waves in the background. Dean breaks their linked hands to pull off his shirt. Letting it drop to the sand. His tie goes with it, all one movement and he’s shirtless and heading towards the water.  
Dean doesn’t blush when Castiel follows. He doesn’t.  
Knee deep in salty water, soft waves tickling their dress pants. Dean reaches and strokes a hand over the scar on Castiel’s shoulder.  
“I’m sorry.’” “I know.” Cas says, moving the hand and resting his own on Dean’s cheek.  
“Why are we out here?” Dean asks, adrenaline calming.  
Castiel laughs. “Because you wanted to kiss me.”  
Dean looks at him, shocked. “Yeah. I did.” “So what are you waiting for?” Castiel pushes, stepping a little closer to Dean and watching him raise a terrified hand and press it too his cheek. Dean’s thumb strokes his cheekbone before he leans in. Heart thrumming with anticipation and liquor making his stomach turn, or at least he thinks its liquor and not the intoxicating smell of Castiel’s cologne. Their lips meet and he can’t think. He can’t breathe or control his hands that grip the base of Cas’ neck and the small of his back. The kiss is short, but gentle, and slow, and the most loving thing he’s ever experienced. When he pulls back, Cas goes away too, but they are back together in a matter of seconds. Lips moving and tongues fighting and teeth clashing. Hot breath replacing his own and then he’s cold. and wet. He stumbled away from the wave threatening to pull them into the sea, and even being as drunk as he was, he knew to grab Castiel’s hand and pull him to the shore. They laugh and kiss as they head up the steps and back into the house.  
In the bedroom, Cas grabs a towel to wipe Dean’s hair. Cas grabs at Dean’s belt buckle and Dean tries to stop himself from flinching away. Dean takes control as soon as his pants are unbuckled, and pushed Castiel against the nearest wall. He kisses feverishly, with passion, and Cas moans into his mouth. It’s too hot, and too cold all at once and he realizes they have to get out of these clothes. Castiel’s pants are then pushed around his ankles and he’s reaching down Cas’ abdomen before Cas pushed him back. “Are we going to have sex?” He breathes in question, looking a little too scared for Dean’s liking.  “I thought that’s where we were going…” Dean replies, trying not to look too confused. Castiel wouldn't lead him on, would he? “Oh. Okay.” Cas says simply.  
“Is that… good? You want too?” “Yes.” Castiel nods vigorously, before attaching his mouth to Dean’s again, letting his hands wander.  
Bingo.  
Dean’s hands go straight for Cas’ boxers again, pushing them down his legs and taking his length in one hand. Castiel mewls at the touch, his back arching right away and gasping Dean’s name. He spreads his legs just a little more, so now Dean can really jack him off. Dean sucks a bruise into Castiel’s neck while he gives his cock one last pull, and he comes all over Dean’s hand. After a moment of pure bliss, Cas bats his hands away from his over stimulated member in favour of sinking to his knees and pulling Dean free. The first thing he notices is how freaking hard Dean is. He swallows Dean down, almost to the base. Dean lurches forward, scrambling for something to hold onto, and ends up just grabbing onto Castiel’s hair, lacing his fingers in it and pulling. He moans low and deep and it makes Cas moan too, sending vibrations up his shaft and making him arch.  
“Fuck… Cas…” He tries and fails, pulling Castiel by the hair off his cock, and back down again before puling out and jacking his own cock over Cas’ kneeling naked body. He comes like a drunk fright train and falls against the wall in a heap. Cas —who has already recovered from his orgasm— stands and takes the towel he planned on drying the water on their bodies with, and wipes it over the splotched of cum that are drying on his skin.  Dean tugs Castiel up, and they fall together in a tangle of limbs into one of the beds. 

=

Walking up with an angel in your arms isn't one of the worst ways you can start a morning in Hawaii, and even if you’re scared of flying, having someone to hold your hand through take off is incredibly calming.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for sticking around!  
> Comments are appreciated <3


End file.
